Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving. One of those strange "traditional" American holidays that comes to haunt us once a year with it's roasted dry turkeys, visits from unwanted relatives, and overly sweet pumpkin pies. I never particularly loved the holiday. The holiday has been more of burden than a bundle of joy. I mean sitting for 5 hours in a living room in relative silence with family you only see probably at most twice a year isn't exactly my definition of a productive day. However, it's probably the most productive my life has been the few weeks anyways.

Moving on, I've never liked the holiday and even though it's name is pretty self explainatory, I tend to always look over it. I'm usually too busy shoving my face with the buttery, warm stuffing my mom made earlier in the day to reflect on my life mainly because I'm just one of those people who tend to focus more on overly enjoying the food placed in front of me than reflect on my overlying pessimism on life at a table filled with drunk adults.

However, throughout the day today for the first time I actually thought, what I am thankful for? Of course I am thankful for having a loving, supporting family even though I want to pummel the crap out of my brother and sister sometimes and of course I am thankful for how privleged my life has been and the opportunities I have been granted. But, outside of the generic thankful thoughts of my life, shouldn't I be thankful for something else? Something more?

I know I am thankful for the friends who love me even though my anxiety makes me think they hate me most of the time but certainly there are much smaller things I can be thankful for that really effected my life and I am still trying to conjure up a list. It's a tough and daunting thing to think about. To be honest, it pretty much fucking overwelms me but I guess all the pieces of the puzzle will fall together for me sometime tonight or tomorrow or at some point in the near future. For the first time, in a long time, I've finally reflected on what my elementary school teachers stressed to me at no end; So what are you thankful for little guy??

Until next time...